Friday, March 11, 2011

Kathy Cacasem’s American Top Five Things I Like This Week

5. Coming in at number five this week is Kings, the drinking game. I have a keg-sized hole in my collegiate career that apparently should have been plugged with cans of Natty Light and flipping cups and ponging beers and stuff, but I just plain never heard of or played Kings until like six months ago. My hatred of card games is on my permanent record, so I was completely voting nay on this one until Tuesday when I gave it a shot and it was actually pretty fun. Homework assignment: play Kings until you get to be the questionmaster, and then write 500 words on how awesome that was. Bonus assignment: write another 1000 words about how I am far too old for this.

4. Moving up several spots with every post is The Hairpin. I started off a Gawker, and then I’d call myself a Jezebel, and now I’m firmly held in place by The Hairpin. Everything is so good. Everything! I want to bottle what these writers can do and fill a bunker with it just in case.

3. Holding steady at number three is hedgehogs. They are BOTH prickly and soft-bellied. They are puppies in leather jackets, guys. Lambs in wolf costumes. Olivia Newton John at the end of Grease. Quirky pet of my dreams. Hedgehogs. Get into it.

2. Coming in at number two: soy curls. Ate ‘em when I was in Portland, Oregon, and insisted every restaurant had given us chicken by accident every time I ordered them. They are suspiciously delicious. They are healthy. They are almost guilt-inducingly meaty. Put them on your nachos and eat them while reading the packaging over and over to make sure they aren’t actually chicken.

1. Snagging this week’s number one spot is Carla Hall, recently julienned from the rest of the cheftestants on Top Chef: All Stars. There are approximately 350,000 reasons to love Carla, but HOOTIE-HOO, lemme count some ways. 1. Her loony facial expressions. 2. She made vegetarian food AND WON because LO AND BEHOLD, COLICCHIO AND FELLOW HERBS, there is a world without lamb. 3. She came across as one of the most genuinely lovely people ever to compete on a television show. Yes I know that the circumstances of filming a Bravo show can be stressful (you’re sequestered from the outside world and away from your family and your business), but when it comes down to it you’re taken care of while doing something you love for a prize and that’s a pretty lucky break. She always seemed to relish the excitement of every challenge, whether cooking for kids or muppets or Jimmy Fallon. I love this woman. I love her. She is the best. Buy her cookies! They sound great. And lest you had any doubt, check out one of her slam-dunk-she-is-the-shit-high-five-SIKE-too-slow modeling shots from the 80s:

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