Tuesday, June 22, 2010

M4DoubleEw

The best of New York City's M4W Craigslist personal ad headlines.

Bored at work - 24 - (Financial District)
Perhaps this is the reason why the housing market failed?

I am looking for a Sexy Secretary for a OFFICE FANTASY AND GET HELP
I am concerned this man was KIDNAPPED HALFWAY THROUGH THIS POSTING

Addicted to Asian and Indian women – 41
On next week’s Intervention. Or, god help us, Hoarders.

@@ Animal Sex ** ^^ ORGASMS ^^ ** @@@@@ - m4w – 49
The “Animal” in this sentence appears to refer to the muppet.

Hoping your pregnant –
Hoping you realize how much that sounds like a hex to the women perusing Craigslist for casual sex.

6ft tall in bear feet !!! Open for a laugh
I’m also 6ft tall in goat hooves, platypus bills and cow stomachs!

FUN SLAPPING C--KS ? -
I LOVE slapping corks!

Online Truth or Dare? - 31 - (Upper West Side)
Somehow I see this as being far less titillating online than in person:

Dude6969: ok, i dare you to take your shirt off.
Randolady: okay, just did it.
Dude6969: really?
Randolady: yeah.
Dude6969: awesome.

Bus Man in town in need of an assistant tonight – 32
Bus Man seeks Subway Girl for masked vigilante MTA justice!

I am looking to worship a Goddess - (Union Square)
Venus of Willendorf need not apply. (No fatties.)

SO WHY ARE YOU SINGLE? -
GOD, MOM, LAY OFF!

You Can Lead A Frog To Water
…but you can’t make it understand a well known aphorism.

really hot guy will pay you to eat your ass - 30 - (now)
I mean, the way this is phrased, even I would pay to see that happen.

Lost my father this year, seeking a new friend for brunch – 44
Terminal illness, suicidal thoughts, recent realization that God is dead, seeking partner for a lighthearted drink.

extreme male slave seeks service opportunity - 40 - (Downtown)
Leather sub, into humiliation and nipple torture, looking to hook up with local Habitat chapter.

Snugglebunny Looking For Snugglebunny - 33 - (Chelsea)
Christ, and my lunch is looking for an escape route back through my mouth.

1 Comments:

OpenID rachelslessonslearned said...

OMG
A timely post, since I hadnt been having much luck dating lately, I was considering lifting my personal moratorium on craigslist. But...ah, I think that moratorium shall stand.

double ew.

6:28 PM  

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