Thursday, February 22, 2007

No Thanks, But The Hot Vanilla Shake Sounds Good...

I read a self-help book, beginning to end, which I liked enough to loan to a co-worker with the caveat that I saw it on Oprah, and yes, one of its more credible “experts” is the guy who wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Once you cut through the feel-good muck, the main tenet of the book is the law of attraction. You’ve got emit goodness to get goodness back.

I know, get me a bongo and some tempeh.

But for real, I’ve noticed that trying to smile more and generally be happier around people, particularly people like cashiers with whom I have brief interactions, has made a big difference. The guy at the deli I sometimes go to for lunch has taken to drawing smiley faces on the lid of my salad. The normally silent soup guy down the block had a nice conversation with me about the weather.

But I think the whole scheme backfired this morning with the coffee guy.

“Want a bagel with that?” the guy asked.

I refused. Politely, I think.

Then he offered a scone, a muffin and a Danish, in succession. I declined.

Then: “Have you ever had a chocolate chubby?”

I’m not even sure if that’s legal to ask with children in earshot. That is not the kind of friendly pastry offer I am equipped to deal with before he’s handed over my coffee. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, I’m emitting ridiculous double entendres.


Anonymous rachel said...


11:35 AM  

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