Saturday, October 28, 2006

NYC Sexy Honies

It is imperative that I let the world know what happens on "Brooklyn Free Speech TV" on Saturday at 2:30 in the morning.

Our public access channel never fails to disappoint. Most of the programming, though, is indulgent soapbox preaching, whether it be for Jesus or against the Atlantic Yards development. What makes it great is the likelihood that the talking head is a little unbalanced, regardless of the subject.

But then "The NYC Sexy Honies" comes on.

So far as I can tell, it's sort of a corrupt cop drama. Filmed with a camcorder. Starring three of what I presume to be "sexy honies," one young, one old, and one pasty white, all trashy to a degree I cannot yet find words to express. Right now they're playing Twister in their underwear in front of a TV playing porn. Before this, they confiscated money from a couple of counterfeiters, and then they rolled arond in it on a bed for, honestly, about seven minutes. The old one stuck her ass in the camera and wiped it with a fake fake bill.

Now the old one is doing the dishes in her underwear and lamenting her inability to pay her credit card bill. And now her boyfriend is "punishing" her for her "$5,000 phone bill, I mean credit card bill" by spanking her. Well, actually he's still just stroking her ass. I assume spanking is going to follow suit.

Check. With a ping-pong paddle.

I thought the "Free Speech TV" tagline was just a marketing ploy to make public access seem a little sexier. I had no idea how literally correct I was.

Zoom in on the ass, continued spanking. And now that his hand is actually moving into her underwear, I'm going to exercise my right to silence their free speech via remote control and Comedy Central. But for real, it's times like this when I question my ability to discern reality from weird Freudian dream, and wonder if I didn't actually go to bed hours ago.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a little late, but i just saw the exact same episode you did but on Queens public TV! I thought that for some reason my tv was getting free porn, bad porn. What tha...

12:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg, an episode of this is on right now on channel 35. this is fucking intense/weird/ amazing.

jan 11 2005, timestamp

11:20 PM  

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