Thursday, June 15, 2006

Jesus MySpaced Me, This I Know

It's a horrible thing to have large portions of your life exist on, or revolve around the internet. Okay, maybe not horrible, but didn't your fifth grade teacher ever tell you you have to grab your readers right at the beginning? For the sake of making this first paragraph here tolerable, we're gonna go with horrible.

But you know what I mean. There's nothing worse in the world than having to say "Someone totally left this random comment on my blog," out loud and in front of people who probably assume, like I do, that when a stranger says "blog" what they really mean is "Livejournal where they confess crushes and talk about cutting themselves strictly for the street cred." It's terrible to have to say your screenname out loud. Or the worst, the very worst, is trying to tell someone about something funny that happened to you on Myspace.

(Add me.)

But sometimes something funny did happen to you on (whisper it with me: Myspace) and you really need to tell someone at lunch, in public, in a nice restaurant, or worse, in the middle of your office which is filled with grown people, that the latest in a string of strange people to send you a message was a guy whose only picture makes it look like he's peed his pants. And then about the Christian youth group who tried to get you to be their friend, except you're not Christian, or a student, or living in rural Pennsylvania as the youth group name specifies you should be. And that when you call out the Youth Director for involving you in lame and misguided marketing, you end up in a fight with him about how Christians are persecuted in America today, even though the person you are arguing with is a young, white, male member of the dominant religion of the entire country, so maybe he should probably shut up about being persecuted, and then you have to block the youth group from contacting you anymore, which is really funny, because it's a YOUTH GROUP.


Happy birthday to internet royal Brad Walsh, who turns twenty-four years young today. He says also hates it when people talk about the internet, but if you you say "roflmao" or "lol" or "whatevs" or "IMHO" to his face like it's a real word he will laugh like a sonofabitch. Which is why everyone should go leave him a LOLLY WHATEVSDAY on his MYSPACE where his has LIKE A MILLION FRIENDS and you can send him a WINK or a POKE or a SMILEY or whatever else you can do electronically these days that would get you arrested or at least smacked in person.



Anonymous brad said...


10:50 AM  

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