Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Live Blogging Project Runaway: The Finale

10:01 - Andrae's not nearly so bad when he's not talking. And they show him from the angle where you can't see that vein in his head. Also, Nick is wearing a woman's scarf. I think my mother has that scarf.

10:04 - Santino works the Tim Gunn impression. It makes me love him a little, but not enough to forgive the fact that the looks like the bad guy from Candy Land. Did someone else already point that out? I don't know if I'm a genius or not. Unrelated: I hate that one ratface model.

10:07 - Chloe and Diana are concentrating on putting pockets in their thirteenth dress. Come on. Pockets. Brad and I agree that they should cut some slits in it with a boxcutter and get a fucking move on.

10:09 - I will think about making out with Daniel V's homosexual self during the commercial break. He is a-dorable.

10:15 - Chloe says she "had a lot of issues with makup and hair." Welcome to my LIFE. Also, someone stole Daniel V's ugly bags. Uh. Good.

10:19 - Closeup of Austin Scarlett. Brad and I: "Uuuuuuuh."

10:20 - I swear, swear, swear to god Karl Rove is in the audience of the fashion show. I swear.

10:22 - Daniel V's show. Shut up. He is so cute. Cute jackety skirty ensemble, really cute blouse, LOVE the white coat dress. Then there's some crapola. Then there's a good outfit. Then some more questionable stuff. Then there are some scary model nipples. Then the Project Runway model TRIPS. If she loses it for him, I will claw her eyes out. But I don't know...I'm not in love with his collection like I thought I was. When I searched for photos of it on Getty Images the day of the fashion show during Fashion Week. Because I am a serious fucking tool.

10:29 - Chloe's show. She has a boyfriend? She never once mentioned that guy. She called her collection her immaculate conception, which is weird. Amen? Christ is that first dress ridiculous. Then the next dress is ugly. Then the next dress looks like JC Penney material, ecept you can see her boobs out the side. Ugly. Then another ugly. Then some more ugly. I like the suit, I like the dress Diana made. Then the rest of the collection makes me make wretching noises out loud. Gross. I like you Chloe, but I will murder your family if you win.

10:32 - Santino's show. Shout out to his mom, which is cute. The first model looks naked in her dress. Then leather knickers, which should be illegal. Then some boring crap. A poncho. WHAT THE HELL WAS THE RENAISSANCE FAIR MAROON THING? Kind of lame overall. Santino, I expected you to be crazy, at least.

10:39 - Commerical break. Why does have a jingle? And why does that jingle get stuck in my head? And why, when I actually needed a credit report, did want my credit card number? Just something to chew on while we're all waiting for the results.

10:41 - Okay, Debra Messing is the guest judge? I saw her on the street and she hadn't washed her hair and she was wearing sweatpants and a shearling coat. That does not a fashion expert make. Just saying.

10:43 - NINAGARCIA is such a bitch. She's totally going to make poor Danny cry. And now she's taking a bite out of Santino and saying he wasn't true to himself. The self that she totally shat on the entire season. NINAGARCIA, I call you out! I choose you! We're taking this out on Fashion Avenue and duking it out!

10:47 - Yadda yadda yadda. Start the axing!

10:48 - Brad: "Something's stickin' out of Debra Messing's hair."

10:49 - NINAGARCIA: "Chloe's show was one note." And that note is ugly.

10:51 - Okay, they made their decision. Aaaaand there's a big commercial break. Thanks Bravo. Thank you for abiding the Reality Television Finale Act of 2001, whereby all finales must include a last minute commercial break for VERY IMPORTANT ORBITZ TRAVEL COMMERCIALS.

10:56 - No more fucking around. Heidi's making cuts. Santino didn't win! I feel a little bad. I didn't realize I liked Santino second best until now. It's okay, Santino, go back to Candy Land. Live in delicious licorice exile.

10:57 - It's down to Daniel and Chloe. NO! CHLOE WON! THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT!

10:58 - I think I woke up the neighbors with my yelp. Okay, seriously, I'm lodging some complaints. Chloe's collection was so bad. AND the ratface model won too! That right there is two scoops of bullshit on a crapanana. Fuck Project Runway. Fuck it right up the auf hole.


Anonymous anonymousmom said...

this is actually the free credit report website.

1:40 PM  

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