Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Dispatches from SPACE!

JUNK is brand new and beautiful, so you should go look at it.

The last week has been so weird. Office melodrama and an unexpected cross-country visit from Dr. Andrea Rock (who, by the way, will marry anyone with the last name Star. Anyone know eligible bachelors?) combined forces to make the past five or so days completely head-scrambling.

Which may explain the dream I had this weekend. I know it's never fun to hear about other people's dreams, despite how much fun it is to tell other people about your dreams. But suck it up, because this one's a beaut. Even better than the one where Kevin Federline was an Olympic figure skater.

I dreamed aliens had landed their eggs-shaped spaceship on Earth (who were actually just people in white spandex body suits, but bear with me here) and had asked me to procure them samples of water to take back to their home planet. I wasn't sure that they weren't going to enslave the entire planet, but I was trying to be nice so I handed them three frozen bottles of water. "That's great, but we need liquid samples too."

"But come on," I said. "What's the temperature of your planet? If it's below 273 degrees Kelvin, it's just going to freeze anyway."

They grudgingly accepted the frozen samples when I pointed out that the little cubby where they were supposed to keep the water was frozen anyway. Like, all frosty like a freezer.

So the aliens were gathering their intergalatic crap together and getting ready to take off when I said "Hey, I hate to ask you this, but I just have to know. How do you guys poop?"

The alien pressed his thumb to the table and left a nearly microscopic yellow dot.

"That's it," he said.

This is what I dream about. When the planet may be on the verge of total domination by an alien species, I get them beverages and ask them how they poop.

On the plus side, I can apparently convert Kelvins to Celsius in my sleep. In some circles, someone might call me a genius.


Anonymous brad said...

he was in my dream, too. there must be some kevin federline in the water.

8:27 AM  

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