Friday, December 30, 2005

Jesus Loves You, A Lot

Brad and I were sitting around my parents' house a few months ago, up in my room, watching TV and checking e-mail the necessary six hundred and fifty times an hour. I had received a junk mail invitation to join Christian Mingle.com which, they promised, was the answer to all of my pious days yet lonely nights. I decided I was going to find Brad a man. I must've had a momentary embolism because I used my actual e-mail address to create my "Lolita666" profile.

While it is true that Lolita666 is registered for a Christian Mingle profile, she has no information listed. Not her age, not a photo, no location, no interests, not even her denomination. This does not stop me from getting approximately seven hundred and fifty thousand e-mails every single day from Christian Minglers who want to know me.

Biblically.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I double-dare you to go on a date with one of them, and of course write all about it.
-Clare

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

Wow. Christians must be a lot more desparate than Jews, because I've had a JDate profile with no information listed for the last 3 years so that I can spy on my old middle school enemies (yes, I'm that pathetic), and no one has contacted me.

11:58 PM  
Blogger SCHRmm said...

It's all in the name. It promises youth, sex and the devil himself. What self respecting christian desperado would not be turned on?

5:55 PM  
Anonymous anonymousmom said...

lame excuse for joining... christians are not usually down with brads. have you tried the singles page at PFLAG?

4:57 PM  

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