Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Shouldn't a Two Bedroom Have Two Bedrooms?

Scene: A tiny apartment in Sunset Park. Kathy is peering into the hole in wall of Bedroom 1 when Brad approaches. Kai is in the living room. Smarmy Real Estate Agent is trying to reach the light switch behind the fridge in the kitchen and muttering something about getting the place "all cleaned up."

Enter Brad.

Brad: [whispers] It smells like a cat is peeing inside my nose.
Kathy: [whispers] But it's only $1200 a month...
Brad: [whispers urgently] PEEING INSIDE MY NOSE.

Brad and Kathy join Smarmy Real Estate Agent in the "living room."

SREA: So whaddaya think?
Brad: Well, it's an option...
Kathy: I'm not sure we love it, but we're considering it.
Brad: It's definitely an option.
SREA: [Blankish stare, runs hands through thin, thin hair]
Kathy: I'm a little concerned about the cat smell.
SREA: Oh, well, we'll clean.
Kathy: Well, the cat smell won't really go away. I have a piano that a cat lived in ten years ago--
SREA: You have a piano?
Kathy: No, I'm not moving a piano in here, I'm just saying, I have a piano and that was around a cat ten years ago and it still smells.
SREA: Don't you think I'll make sure this place is clean?
Kathy: I don't think it's a matter of clean, it's just, once wood smells like a cat it's hard to get out.
SREA: [mumbles something about a piano]
Brad: [rolls eyes]
Kai: [counts empty beer bottles left in apartment by workers]
SREA: ....
Kathy: ....Well, you know, it's an option.
Brad: We'll let you know.

Lights down. Curtain.


Anonymous mombi said...

don't worry about it. eliot can't smell anything anymore, so it won't bother him in the least.

1:44 PM  

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