Monday, August 22, 2005

Flashback

[Note: This is an honest to God, real, actual, original journal entry I just found in one of my old diaries. Names have been omitted or changed to protect the adolescent, and it's been slightly shortened, but everything else is genuine.]

January 20, 1997

Okay, so. I just came back from the high school talent show, which was an ordeal.

The Raging Hormones [band name changed] were great, as usual. The drummer and guitar player are the coolest people. They played one song with Steve and sang two with Ruby, who has a really good voice.

Derek has a band now, with a kid from down the street. They are following in the grand tradition of his older brother and his artsy friend. They played a bunch of Oasis with too much feedback, a song by the Wallflowers, and "Yesterday," which Derek just BARELY squeaked out.

[A couple of kids] have a band. They sang the Counting Crows and sounded okay, since the Counting Crows are whiny and flat. They tried to do a Mighty Mighty Bosstones song -- and it SUCKED and it went on FOREVER.

[A girl] tap danced, and Brian and Andy rapped. We were subjected to John's naked stomach.

Matt [some kid I didn't actually know] had apparently broken up with his [longtime girlfriend] Lisa. He got up on stage, claiming he had a joke to tell. He went up to the mic, and said "I know a lot of girls and guys have broken up, but I would just like to say that LISA IS THE BIGGEST LIAR IN THE WORLD."

Everyone went postal, and when they were looking for jokes later on to fill time, he said something ELSE about Lisa. He was escorted off the stage by Mr. Roberts, and Lisa stormed out shortly after.

Finally, the cheerleaders got up there in tightass pants and tiny shirts, and clapped and sang back-up to some senior guy singing "Respect." They couldn't even clap on beat. All of a sudden, The Raging Hormones bust on stage and started dancing and moshing--they are so cool.

-Kathy

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