Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Hold, Please.

Having suddenly found myself to be the kind of person who owns a fancy laptop computer, I decided to fashion myself into the kind of person who uses their fancy laptop on the train. It was me and the businessmen this morning, in the technological big leagues. I could pretend for a solid forty minutes that we were all corporate pistons firing at full speed, maximizing our time and churning out important documents while the rest of our fellow commuters (pity them, pity them) slept. Together we chugged coffee out of our commuter mugs, flipped the spillproof lids closed, and turned back to our keyboards. We were unified, them with their last minute Power Point touch-ups, and their intricate excel spreadsheets, and me, with my blogging and my midwest-state-themed indie rock which they never need know the better of.

I have such a crush on Sufjan Stevens, but I don't want to tell anyone about it out loud because I have no idea how you prounounce his first name. Soof-jan? Soof-yan? Suff-jen? Bill? This is besides the point, which I am getting to, which is:

The business men working on their computers on the train are doing work that they can make use of at the office immediately via internet connection. Caught up in the fervor of the commuter-with-computer clique, I forgot that the thousand words I composed are stuck on my computer until I get back home, or any place else with a wireless connection.

It's a doozy, though. There's a whole lot of smiting and vengeance. I'm fiesty at a quarter to seven in the morning.

At three minutes to two, however, I'm mainly freezing and a smidge sleepy. It's unbearably cold in here, yet again, and I'm weighing going outside and walking around the block to warm up against the possibility that my head may actually explode if I cross the threshold too quickly between my fifty-five degree (for real) office and the ninety degree (for realer) outdoors. Plus, I didn't get my nap on the train this morning, what with all the feigned productivity, and now I'm kind of tired.

So, what it boils down to is that you're going to have to wait for my blog today, until roughly six-thirty p.m., Eastern Standard Time, at which point Dorothy and I will enter my house, she will magically connect to the internet, and I can upload that puppy. In the meantime, think warm thoughts. I'm going to go get some Tropical Skittles from the vending machine (the least of my three evil candy choices, the other two of which are Wild Berry Skittles and Twizzler Nibs. NIBS!), consume only the blue and orange ones, and then sit with my hands in my armpits in lieu of typing and in hopes of regaining sensation.

What's that, my life is totally sexy? I know.

12 Comments:

Blogger ktiv said...

It's a little known fact, but Sufjan actually is pronounced as Bill. Well, technically, Bill-y, but you get the gist.

1:25 PM  
Blogger DMo said...

I think you are far from being alone in being secretly in love with Sufjan.

1:56 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

But I'm talking LOVE love, like, bear his little, strangely named babies love.

Do you know how to pronounce his first name? Just so I don't sound like a moron when I ask him to marry me?

2:04 PM  
Blogger DMo said...

I have been instructed to say SOO-fann and that's what I roll with on live radio fairly often, so hopefully I'm not butchering it. I mean, when I ask him to marry me, I want to make sure I get his name right.

The other solution is just to give yourself a realy unique pronuciation of your name, just to fuck with your groom-to-be.

2:10 PM  
Blogger DMo said...

Damn it. SOO-fawn. That's more like. Goddamn phonetics.

2:10 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Maybe I'll just call him Steve. See? I already have an endearing nickname for him. I'll be completely irresistable.

2:18 PM  
Blogger katy said...

I know I shouldn't post, but you're fascinating so I will.

If you really wanna impress your coporate suit communters learn to type really fast with just your thumbs, like you've been using your blackberry all week and just now had the luxury of using the laptop.

They'll all bow down to your amazing prowess and be really impressed...seriously.

Amazing blog by the way.

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad about eating Skittles. Apparently they are so popular among distance runners that they are coming out with Skittles Sport. Seriously. I think it's because of the sugar and flavor or whatever, runners love eating them before a race. Just say you're training for the marathon or something.
-Clare

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can't vouch for the accuracy, but when he came to oberlin we were told that he was "soof-yawn." this was very disappointing since we had spent several months' previous manager meetings saying "SOOF-JOHN??" and plotting to get cb a tee-shirt. soof-yahn is just less funny...

5:25 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

He came to Oberlin? And no one packaged him up and sent him to my house?

6:11 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

P.S. to Katy: Everyone should post! I live for it.

7:23 AM  
Blogger joslik said...

K - here's something you're obviously going to be interested in, unless of course you've already read it.

http://www.theonionavclub.com/feature
/index.php?issue=4128

2:47 PM  

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