Thursday, April 21, 2005

Cross Your Fingers

President Bush has urged the senate to "put aside the politics" and confirm his nominee for U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.

To recap:

The Senate. The most significant political body in the United States. Should put aside the politics.

I agree. The Senate should put aside the politics. Just like RadioShack should put aside the divisiveness, the Navy Submarine division should put away its dissension. [Get it? Get it? DEVICE? DESCENT? I'm the queen of puns, bow down, kiss my--well, don't kiss my feet. We've been through this.]

Okay, so, I have a job interview today. Needless to say, I'm kind of nervous about it. I woke up this morning, put on my most professional outfit, went to work feeling pretty confident, sat around, tapped my fingers nervously until lunch, went to the bathroom, noticed that the slit in the back of my skirt had torn to unbelievably obscene heights, mouthed unbelievably obscene curse words, and sprinted to the H&M that's, thankfully, about ten blocks away. Of course they didn't have a skirt that matched the rest of my outfit at all, so I ended up having to basically construct a new interview outfit on my lunch break. I feel I've done so successfully, though, and I now have a black blazer that I really, really like.

But come ON.

Until yesterday, Brad and Kai were the only people who knew about the interview. I wasn't going to tell my family about it at all because they have a tendency to yell, scream, anticipate the worst possible scenarios, mention the impending event incessantly until it happens and then request status reports on its resolution every fifteen minutes after it's over, and invoke the Lord's help without my consent.

I reconsidered last night, though, after discussing with Kai the power of positive thinking. The more people pulling for me, the better my cosmic chances of getting this job, or so the theory goes. So, at a commercial break in the American Idol results show (see ya, Anwar--you'll always get a gold star next to your name in my book for doing my favorite Earth Wind and Fire song) I calmly broke the good (I hope, fingers, legs, eyes crossed) news to my mother, whose immediate reaction was to cry and tell me she was going to light a candle for me.

After all the Pope talk on here, I thought maybe all Catholic ceremony should be avoided. Just to be on the safe side.

(Of God's wrath.)

So, here is your mission: from 5:00 pm until 6:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time, I need everyone to think really positive, really excellent, really professional and impressive thoughts about me. Okay? Picture me all business suited up, resume in hand, totally friggin' flooring the interviewers.

I swear, if I get this job I'll do something nice for each and every one of you. I'll walk your dogs. I'll do your laundry. I'll bathe your grandmas. I'll take your little brothers to the prom.

I gotta go, because I picked off all of my nailpolish and now I have to redo my nails under my desk. So help me God, if I spill polish on this new skirt and have to go back to H&M today, I'm poisoning the water supply.


Anonymous stupidboy said...

Good luck Kathy! Roads, eyes, legs... I'm crossing them all just for you.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Mombi said...

Break a leg!

2:13 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...


2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Central Daylight Timezone is behind you 100%.


3:00 PM  
Blogger ErntsBloggo said...

2nd on the CDT being behind you... which is somewhat punish...

3:08 PM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

9pm EST (But i'm gonna go ahead and tap-into some homestyle GMT+3 hours mojo for this one).

I Couldn't send the "Vibes" earlier - but I hope you SMASHED it and let 'em know what the F is up.

8:18 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Thank you guys, seriously. My interview went really well. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks.

Now do it again so I get the job.

11:40 AM  

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