Friday, April 01, 2005

Aha! Shake!

There's nothing like a dude wearing tight, tight pants yodeling about switchblades and cockfights to make my Friday even sweeter. Lest you think my office has undergone a radical makeover (or that I've started working at a gay rodeo), I'm referring to the strictly sonic presence of those scions of southern rock, the Kings of Leon, who have earned the distinction of being crowned my on-repeat band of the day. Good job, fellas, good job. As a prize, please allow me to Roto-Rooter you out of your pants while you marblemouth some South-isms in my ear.

I apologize that I've been talking about nothing but bands for the last two days, but I'll I've got otherwise are a couple of half-inflated anectodes about three people who had the audacity to smell bad near me yesterday.

Oh, all right, you twisted my arm: the guy who farted when I was following him up the stairs out of the subway, the guy who stank like rotten ham on the train on the way home, the dude next to me at the gym who sweat concentrated garlic. The end.

Back to the Kings of Leon: these guys were born with their idiom in their DNA and, ridiculous though it may be, they are so committed to it you can't deny how hip they are. They've got an album full of songs brewed like moonshine below the Mason-Dixon Line, all about fucking girls and drinking whisky and their "pistols of fire." They wear the tightest tapered jeans one could possibly squeeze into and hope to remain a physical male. And they are serious about all of it.

They're all yeah, our dad was a nutty fuckin' preacher, and we're all so southern we're incomprehensible, and also we're all related, for real though, and we're gonna write some songs about being southern and doing southern things, and y'know, maybe will get some shaggy haircuts, but on the inside we're solid fuckin' Trans-Ams, baby.

That's something I can get behind.

Because, when I think about it, if I were to write a bunch of songs that were undeniably taken from my core identity, the attitude would be less badass strutting and more um, hi, 'scuse me, yeah, it's a pleasure to meet you, wow, yeah, I really like that shirt, is it from American Eagle? Yeah? On sale? Cool! Okay, well, I'm gonna go grab some chai and do the crossword puzzle, so, y'know, have a good one. Okay. Bye. Hope you liked this song. Bye.

Not as cool. Which is why the Kings of Leon deserve your respect and, also, you should forgive them for giving you the Clap.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it's Yodeling you're into, check out Up On Cripple Creek by The Band. Quality music. Totally agree about the Kings of Leon also!

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

I'd buy your CD, especially if it had really lame 80's dance beats in the background. Or better yet, the demo beats from a casio keyboard.

That's something that the kids could tap their feet to.

8:53 PM  

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