Tuesday, March 08, 2005

And the Award Goes To...

I, Katharine Maria Cacace, would like to present this 5000 Hits Achievement Pin to Katharine Maria Cacace. Katharine Maria Cacace will be accepting the award on her behalf.

Thank you, thank you.

I know I should probably write something really great, something just appallingly brilliant to mark the occasion. I have undertaken this Sisyphean task twice already today, and just when I get the proverbial rock rolling I'm swamped with another set of permissions to request or credit lines to update. Hopefully tomorrow will be quieter and I'll be able to finish the rather pretty thing I've been thinking about writing for a week now about how people are, in general, very strange.

Instead, let's play a game.

Truth or dare? In the comments section, leave either a question for me (which, I swear on Dolly Parton's bosom that I will answer totally truthfully--you can even leave the question anonymously if you wish) or a dare (provided that the dare doesn't get me fired).

Ready? Go.

28 Comments:

Anonymous brad said...

i dare you to shake a stranger's hand today and then report on it.

12:22 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Hmm. This will be tough. I will do my best to overcome my strong dislike of people I don't know, hands, sweaty hands, and the sweaty hands of people I don't know to accomplish this goal. If I don't, though, I'll just make up some shit, okay?

12:28 PM  
Blogger Ant said...

I dare you to post a picture of an unidentifiable part of your anatomy on your blog site.
Ant

12:29 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Oh man, totally. The minute I get home, I promise. Fuck, you know, I just took my camera out of my bag, or else I'd do it right now.

P.S. That would've been the greatest reason ever to get fired. "Kathy. Yeah. We need to have a talk. About you taking pictures of your own posterior during work hours."

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Truth.

Britney or Christina?

(think about this one, and you PROMISED to answer truthfully).

-N

12:42 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Okay, I've seen them both live. I own Xtina's "Stripped," but none of Britney's albums. I have, however, spent far more time singing along to Britney in the car.

I think if the question is "who would you rather listen to, Christina or Britney," I'd take Xtina any day.

However, if the question is "who would you rather read about, every minute of your life, or possibly even have a channel on your TV that is just a camera in her living room," the answer is unquestionably Britney.

I guess I could never totally eliminate either from my life. Christina's got a good voice, and sometimes you just need to start your day with a little "Dirty." But Britney, my pal Brit-Brit--she's a freakshow.

And that I fundamentally respect.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dare you to write a glowing piece of fan mail to (your choice) either Scott Baio or Jaleel White, and it must finish with some variation of "so where the fuck did you go, anyway?"

Also, you have to send it to them. Find a way.
-Clare

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dare you, the next time you break wind, to loudly say 'Phewee! That was one of my more gas intensive ordinance delivery vectors. Yaknowhaddimsayin?' And then look insistently for a congratulatory high five from someone in the room.

OR

Go to a mexican restaurant and ask the waitor, regardless of gender, 'Is there anything on the menu hotter than you?'

OR

In all of your (non-work related) conversations for a whole day, reference or quote at least one completely irrelevant fable, Bible verse, or Shakespeare quote.

6:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, We have another 'anonymous' in the house. Suddenly I don't feel like the sore thumb anymore. But I must warn you my fellow 'anon', that you have already ANNOYED Mr. brad. He probably doesn't like you either, again, for no reason, he just doesn't. Oh yea, and something else about turf wars, and others dying...?!?
Special K, what's your news? We're waiting on those dares. You gonna update us on wether you performed or not?
Also, your answer to my Britney or Christina question was OK. It was a tough question (that's what I do)-- but I think you handled it well, and truthfully. As should any Pro.

-N

9:46 AM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Dear Scott Baio,

It embarasses me somewhat to admit this to such a huge celebrity, but I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember. Actually, since before I had developed the capacity for memory. My mother watched Happy Days and Joannie Loves Chachi when I was but a group of cells developing in her womb. Just like life-giving nutrients, I absorbed your effervescent charm through the placenta and was born with an innate sense of your greatness.

I fervently watched every episode of Charles in Charge, even when they switched up the family and got all new kids. I weathered Buddy's grating, inescapable personality in order to gaze upon you for those precious thirty minutes (actuallh, twenty-four, minus commercial breaks).

Still, of late, I found my love for you waning like a gibbous moon. Where the fuck had you gone, Scott Baio? Where were you?

Then I saw Cursed, wherein you stretched your thespian wings and played yourself. My desire for you was renewed.

Scott, I want you in charge of my days, AND my nights.

I want Scott Baio in charge of me.

With everlasting love,
Kathy

10:20 AM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Brad has my permission to leave whatever he wants wherever he wants on anything of mine (so long as the "whatever" isn't "poop" and the "wherever" isn't "my face"). He's my BFF, so them's the breaks.

10:23 AM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

DARE UPDATESIt is important to remember that I am a chicken.

1. I did not shake a stranger's hand yesterday. I did look for an opportunity to do so, but one did not arise--I would've had to grab someone's arm on the street, which is never wise when one wants not to bleed to death while holding in ones innards.

2. Unidentifiable anatomy portrait forthcoming. Camera needed to be charged. It will be here, though, I promise.

3. Scott Baio fan letter above.

4. The next time I go out for Mexican, I'll try the "hotter than you line." Unfortunately, I brown-bagged it today, so you'll have to wait on the edgeofyerdamnseat.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous brad said...

no, actually, i kind of liked 2 of the 3 suggestions by the other anonymous person. it's just you. stay sore, nutbag.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so, In an attempt to like you (and to kill time off my long ass day) I was checking out your site. Not bad, I'm feelin' some of the cameos you got goin' on (still haven't gotten to the music yet) Mc Lyte (NICE!!!), Tori Amos, etc. so whatever man, it's cool. I'm not gonna jab at you. I do have ONE last question though (And I swear on everything that is dear to me, I do not mean this disrespectfully):

Do you really look like Enrique Iglesias or did you intentionally pose on that CD cover as a spoof?

Ok. Special K, if brad gets mad at me can you intervene? I don't want to continue being called "nutbag".

:(

-N

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kathy, that was the best Scott Baio letter ever. I couldn't have imagined a better one. Kudos.

Anonymous N, I'm starting to dislike you too, if for no other reason than you actually feel entitled to defense against Brad. Brad is a good judge of character, and your creepy stalker act is extremely transparent. Kathy has been very patient in not telling you to fuck off, and I really doubt that she'll tell Brad to leave you alone. I know these people - nobody is better friends than Brad and Kathy.

-Clare

12:21 PM  
Anonymous brad said...

okay, nutbag... even though you said you didn't mean the enrique thing disrespectfully, i'm taking it as so. and that was a good one, so... okay, nutbag.

12:35 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

dagnabbit, how come every time something good happens with respect to viewer participation, i'm always a day late?

Anyhow, i have a dare for you:

I dare you to meet all questions directed at you with a 4 second (i'm talking real time here) dramatic pause of silence as you make a swallowing gesture for one whole day.

3:20 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

oh and clearly after the delay and swallow you are free to answer the question as normal.

3:21 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

You know, I think I kind of do that anyway. At least, at work I do. It's the whole Napoleon Dynamite everythings-a-burden reaction:

Editor I don't like: Kathy, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and just do this whole project for me while I talk in my office to my misogynist of a friend about how ugly certain women are.

Me: ....[sigh].....[another big sigh]....o-KAY.

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can I get back in everyone's good graces?

-N

3:36 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

Shucks, in that case, i guess i'll have to go with a truth:

Have you ever been to a "boy band concert" (NKOTB/Hanson/N'Sync, etc), if so which one(s) and did you scream uncontrollably and/or cry?

As a follow up, at any point did you consider buying Justin Timberlake's solo CD? (just so you know, i secretly liked it)

3:38 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Oh Jim, you haven't heard my O-Town story.

I've seen O-Town. Twice. By accident.

The first time, I was in a mythologcially huge mall around where I live. It was when "Making the Band" was on the air, so very few people knew who they were, and, most hysterically, no one was watching their furious song-and-dance routine.

The second time, they opened for Britney Spears, who I willingly shelled out quite a few bucks to see. Though when we realized they were the opening act (and I realized I'd already seen them once) Brad and I decided to investigate whether or not the girl selling Britney merchandise was Sarah from The Real World: Miami. (It was.)

To answer your question about Justin Timberlake: No, I never considered buying the album because I already had the whole thing dowloaded. Then I saw him. Twice. On purpose.

You've exposed me for the popaholic I am, my friend.

3:44 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

N-

Don't worry about it. It's just a stupid blog.

-Kathy

3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the painkillers have made me overly emotional ... and sensitive ... and loopy...and feeling irie... and kinda hungry... and most of all, pain free.

K, this is more than just a blog, it's the coolest/ most intellectually substantial blog I've seen. What would my recovery be like if it weren't for your skillz?!? I'd probably have to get back to watching Jerry Springer on daytime (Ever see that episode with those people from the trailer park ... )?

Thanks.

-N

4:04 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

Whelp, now the damage is done so I guess I'll be leaving...

J/K,

But that is too good, especially the part about O-town, I'm guessing you weren't crying hysterically though.

4:06 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

N -

No sweat.

Jim -

I was, on the inside.

4:08 PM  
Anonymous brad said...

i JUST talked about real world sarah selling t-shirts this morning after not thinking about it three years! weird... and remember how we tried to get a picture with her and she told us "the management doesn't like me to, come back when o-town is on," and we DID, and she said NO?!

8:17 PM  

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