Monday, February 14, 2005

How Many Ways Do I Love Thee, O Valentine?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Actually, violets are violet,
Hence the name.

Roses are red,
Ramen is for lunch
Because these goddamn roses
Cost fifty bucks a bunch.

Roses are red,
Daisies are white,
Sugar is sweet,
And James Brown is ooooold.

Roses are red..
Violets...etcetera.
Hey, assistant,
Can you finish this letter?
Before lunch.

Roses are red,
Blood is red
Blood is red
Blood is red
Blood is red
Blood is red
BLOOD IS RED
RED RED RED REDRUM RED

Roses are red,
Oranges are orange.

Roses are red,
You're hot like fire.
But before we begin:
Are you wearing a wire?

Roses are red,
Violet's a slut.

Roses are red,
And your face is blue
In this cubist painting
I made of you.
(P.S. I'm sorry you have a boob for a head. The spirit was moving me.)

Roses are dead
When you don't water them
Like I asked you to do
HOW MANY TIMES NOW,
But GOD FORBID ANYONE ELSE do ANYTHING around here.

Roses are White
When you're talking
About the Golden Girls.

Roses are red,
Hobos are poor.
I'll hate you tomorrow
If this turns out to be a sore.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue--
Da ba dee, da ba da.

8 Comments:

Blogger ErntsBloggo said...

What's Her Face is a rose,
but isn't red or white or blue.
And if you don't like her,
well, blimey, F!!! you.

Happy V-day, K!

12:17 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Thanks, and right back atcha!

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Violets are blue
Roses are red
Lets go to the morgue
And make love to the dead

Thanks for the cool card! I only posted yours yesterday so it'll probably be very late. Sorry. Happy Valentines day!

Stupid boy.

2:34 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

For that poem, all is forgiven. P.S., I hope that the envelope was non-parental-curiosity-arousing enough.

2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Violets are blue,
roses are rad,
I hope that today
you make out with Hot Dad.

-Clare

5:26 PM  
Anonymous brad said...

violets aren't blue,
but their stems are true green;
i hope you don't choke
on a gangrenous peen.

2:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for the valentine Kathy, yesterday was a total shit festival and that was just about the only nice thing I could think of on that crappy crappy day.

~kessler

10:11 AM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

You're welcome, Miss Kessler. Ditto on the shit fest, though.

10:36 AM  

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