Thursday, January 13, 2005

Shallow Work is the Work that I Do

The looks one gets from middle-aged women when one is comparatively a very young woman reading Lolita on a commuter train filled with very old businessmen can accurately be described as flesh-searing. I think I'm really going to test their mettle tomorrow and put my hair in pigtails, wear fishnets and a schoolgirl kilt, and slowly suck on a popsicle while I read.

Until yesterday, the city of Paris had swallowed two-thirds of the population of my regular e-mail buddies. To my great delight (I'll go so far as to say great relief, even) both are back on their respective turfs, and both have shown me pictures of the robot-kid who drums on the roof of the Louvre. The existence of a robot child is creepy, but seeing it perched like a gargoyle scares the bejesus out of me.

Forgive this commercial interruption, but the debut album Look at Me by Brad Walsh is now available for purchase but a mere click away. Already hailed by critics (read: yours truly) as the Best Album of 2005 and All Years That Will Ever Follow That Year, this album will provide you with a lifetime supply of masterfully executed and thinly veiled tunes about people I know. Click it. Buy it. You'll love it this much. Mille grazie.

Kai has demanded that I post something today, which is the only reason I'm still writing despite my not having a single worthwhile word to say. How about this? I'll take requests. You leave me a comment with something you want me to write about, and I'll do it. Anything. Leave me a question, leave me a list of words you want me to craft into a fairy tale, leave me a request for a haiku to yo momma, anything. In the words of Janet Jackson, it's all for you.

And in the slightly less applicable words of Joanna Newsom, to whom I have been listening all day, "I killed my dinner with karate."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

write a story involving jelly beans, a hairy toe, nelson mandela, a tractor-trailer, someone's grandpa, and a golf club (a la the picture you had to draw from those very same prompts in my guestbook two years ago). you were right, everything personal is ten times as hilarious after two years. -bräd

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want you to explain to me in 10 words or less what the hell a figmart is.

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's up with the Hot Dad saga? Particularly the parts about the crossword answers (I've been getting stumped lately).


3:17 PM  
Blogger What'sHerFace said...

Okay, here we go:

1. To Kai: "FigMart" is the figment of a parking-lot drunkard's imagination.

2. To Mike: I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN A MONTH! It's killing me! I was on a different train for a while, and before that it was New Year's and Christmas and I think he was off of work...but this week has been inexcusable.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Buckley said...

Quasi-Mojo has a split personality who wants to hear (shut-up... I'm asking her (etc.)!) about how many of the lyrics to the theme-tune of the 'Fresh Prince of Bellaire' that you can remember off the top of your head, and what this says (if anything) about your pschological profile and/or Will Smith's talent as a singer/song-writer as well as any comments of a general nature you may have to make regarding same.

Personally I think you're so brilliant when you write on topics of your own choosing, that you don't need such ridiculous requests as the above (and I would ask you to note that my latter comment) has just resulted in monkey (and co.) 'snot-rocketing' into my peppermint tea... i still stand by it though... jerk(s).

6:45 PM  

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