Friday, December 17, 2004

There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

Can dogs get food poising? Seriously, if anyone knows the answer to this question, tell me. It would be a crime to leave me this curious about something so inane.

The question got stuck in my head this morning when I passed a very nearly untouched takeout container filled with shrimp fried rice in the gutter. Honestly, my very first thought was something along the lines of Ooh! Free Chinese!, followed very closely by You're gross. It's free E.coli is what it is. I consoled myself with the fact that I had packed a decent lunch today, and even though someone had just thrown away a perfectly good meal from my favorite geographic region of food--food that I will most definitely not enjoy for lunch because I can't bring myself to part with ten apartment-savings bucks--at least one of the stray dogs in the neighborhood would probably have a field day with it.

This is my question, though. If I can't eat shrimp that's been sitting in the sun all day, can a dog? Why? How is that fair? Dogs are getting a lopsided share of the world's free food. I have to wait around for office parties with sparse hors d'oeurves, but a dog can eat that shrimp fried rice with no chance of acute gastro-intestinal distress. I think. Correct me if I'm wrong on this.

If this were a top-ten radio station, here's where I'd give a shout-out to my peeps (well, peep, technically) in Ireland, whose correspondance gave my day a sense of purpose, at least for about fifteen minutes. But that's fifteen more than I usually have at work, so I'll take what I can get.

Actually, I think I'll just stick with the shoutouts. There'll be one for every person I'm at all confident reads this fucker. So, here's a big up to B-Wa, maneater of Clevland, heartbreaker of the heartland, a true Taco Supreme amongst a crowd of bean burritos. Hi, Kai, pass on by. Ciao to Jessie G-K, whose e-mail was all too kind. Hey Chris, don't forget to FIGHT OFF THE BAT. Bienvenue to Doc Rock, which was actually the name of a lite-FM cover band that played at the Yorktown Heights 4-H Grange Fair during the late summer of my fifteenth year. Howdy to Mike McComb, who is so eerily good at Text Twist I fear he may be a robot. Hola to Andy Monk; you better call me the second you're in town, sprint down to Spring Street, and meet me at my cube with your dancin' shoes on (or, you know, your sitting-around-and-bitching hat. Either or). And Gutentag to Antoine, who, I concede, has a worse job than I do.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This made me extremely curious as well, so I found this article:

Apparently dogs can't eat a lot of human food anyway because normal stuff for us could kill them. But it does say moldy food is bad, and they can get parasites and stuff.


5:20 PM  
Blogger Buckley said...


Ask and you shall receive it seems.

Nice work Claire.

I think as well as the question of the effect of chinese food in dogs, it might be sensible to also ask about the effect of dogs in chinese food. I heard rumours - that's all I'm sayin.

Also, 'peep' seemed to me to be a particularly apt word since this blog business is all about mutual e-peeping and all.

Thanks for the shout out, but I'd be dubius about the wisdom of exposing your friends and unsuspectors to my blog.

2:04 PM  

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