Wednesday, November 10, 2004


Who got free parking this morning? I got free parking this morning. After driving across the frozen tundra that is northern Westchester in November, I arrived at the train station to find that two of the parking machines were frozen and the third (as usual) still refuses to accept any form of American currency. By the time I had given up hope and resigned myself to a third parking ticket (which would be the second this week), a bunch of commutermen had gathered around the machines. I politely explained the situation, and they politely ignored me and each tried all of the machines anyway. I started walking toward the train, halfway to which an old guy barked at me, "Okay, leave, but you're just gonna get a ticket."

Well, fuck you, old dude. I got the number of the parking company off the machine and called them when I got down to Soho. They profusely apologized for all of my inconvenience, took down all of my information, and promised that I would not get a ticket. Being that I couldn't pay at all, though, spot 223 is mine for free aaaaall day long. I explained to the parking guru that I wasn't the only one who couldn't pay; in a rare moment of true altruism, I was attempting to look out for all the crochety old men of the Hudson Line. There had to be forty or so people from my train who couldn't pay. To which the operator responded, "Well, they'll all just have to call, then." Which the old guy won't. Serves him right [end altruism].

I nearly killed myself and another driver last night in a fit of maniacal road rage. Not only was I stuck behind a car travelling thirty miles an hour on a fifty-five mile an hour road, the car had a license plate that said AROMATIC. That's it, just AROMATIC. Brad pointed out that, at the very least, it hadn't been spelled AEromatic, at which point I would've gladly driven away with their bumper (or, I don't know, say, left arm) as a souvenir.

Oh no! I really do have to go to the two-hour production open-house! This is terrible!

Over and out.


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